To me it seems obvious, as if a part of breathing, a fact so important to me I cannot live a life without it. And yet, I am in the minority.
In a world with six billion people, all with different lives and experiences, personalities and bodies to explore, I can never be in a closed relationship again. I came to my realization that sex does not in fact equal love when, low and behold, I was attracted to and wanted to fuck a coworker, but had no desire to have any other interaction with this person after the act. In fact, I was in a relationship, and did not believe having sex with my non-partner would have negatively affected our relationship. Only the contrary actually, I think it would have lifted my mood and given me new ideas to play with my partnered lover in the bedroom.
I never had sex with the coworker and have since separated from the Ex, but I am left with the knowledge of my need for sex, in fact lots of it, and my desire to have it with many people. I know of functioning, healthy, open relationships, and I strive to find a partner with which to share my life.
But I am not delusional enough to believe my need for an open relationship will be easily accepted by the average individual. There are some who, by nature or nurture, believe the lifestyle I live is just wrong. Others have jealousy issues, a trait that would incline me to not be with them anyway. So I know it will be difficult to find someone.
Often, though, I am frustrated and annoyed when I see an attractive person and realize I have no chance with them because they are “in a relationship.” I think relationships, partnerships, etcetera are all good, but why are you shutting yourself off from possibly amazing sex with others? Why would you deny yourself transformative sexual experiences that would do nothing to ruin, defame, mare, or hurt your life at home?
It seems so simple to me: use protection and don’t bring drama home. And yet, there are so many people in this world closing themselves off from beautiful, wondrous experiences, unknown sensations, tastes and memories that would only enhance their lives.
I am just befuddled with this. I know this has to do with my openness to life, my lack of religious handcuffing, and, my relatively free spirit. However, it doesn’t make the situation, for me, any less angering, annoying, frustrating, or just down right sad.
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