“Little different from the last class.” – ORP
“Yeah, but it’s still one rope.” – Veskrashen
As I squirmed on the ground in excruciating pain, intermittently crying and laughing, Veskrashen, my current class partner, and my previous partner from the proceeding lesson, WykD_Dave & Clover’s One Rope, uttered that perfect exchange above.
Yes, our current lesson was a little different, transitioning from simplicity, sensuality, and deep connection in One Rope to here’s some ways to easily fuck someone up in Scott Smith’s Torturous Rope.
Note the name of the class: Torturous Rope. Apparently that part where it says Torturous kind of just went over my head as I encouraged my rather sadistic friend Veskrashen to attend the class with me and be my partner.
We had shared a rather emotional lunch, talking about heady things in our lives, and frankly I wanted us to have some fun. I didn’t realize he’d attended WykD_Dave & Clover’s class too until the end; those ninety minutes were that intense. This little gem of a fact made the above comment all the more appropriate.
The first thing Scott taught us was so very simple, yet so very effective. Larks head around the ankle, under hand knot around the pinkie toe, find a straight line, and pull. Forgetting my previous toe issues, I instantly screamed out in pain, cursing Veskrashen.
“Our first motherfucker of the class,” exclaimed Scott. Apparently my pain pleased him. Oh, who am I kidding? Scott is a sadistic motherfucker; of course my pain pleased him.
Scott’s next tie was so dubbed ‘The Tie That Made Bendy Puke.’ Yeah, I was really looking forward to this one.
First you wrap your parachord around the ankle and secure it with a bowline on a bite in the front. Next you find a pressure point on the top of the foot, “the crunchy spot”, knot the rope just above it, split the lines, wrap around the foot, come back up and diamond through the two lines you’ve created. There was now a knot right over that pressure point making pain happen.
Pulling up, you twist your two lines, and place them through the second and third toe (another pressure point). Next, split the lines and go around either side of the heel, catching the Achilles tendon, ending up back on the top of the foot. Run each line over to their far sides, catch the heel line, and pull back up to the top of the foot, applying pressure to the Achilles. To finish, over hand knot on top of your first knot.
As many people cried out in pain multiple times during this process, including myself, Scott bemoaned, “I’ve so got to order some more pity. I’ve been out for years.” Yup, Scott; sadistic motherfucker.
Scott’s third tie involved wrapping parachord around the face, catching the underside of the nose. I’m not even going there, though I will say it was my least torturous experience in the class. This is probably because some years ago a shoulder running by slammed into my face, centering on my nose. Nothing was broken, but it’s kind of hard to top that pain.
Scott’s fourth and fifth ties were quite similar, involving the same technique: constricting muscles. Attacking now the calf, Scott explained how to larks head and use reverse tension to inflict your will, adding more constriction as you went. With one of his bottom’s calves tied tight like a baked ham, Scott decided to mix things up, massaging her leg.
“They really like that sensual shit.”
Yup, she didn’t.
Of course Veskrashen, being Veskrashen, came up with the brilliant idea to tie the Bendy tie to the calf tie, creating new worlds of pain. Thankfully he only had one piece of borrowed parachord, saving me from such a fate.
One of my funnier moments of the class occurred as I tried to keep up with Scott’s lessons. Even as Veskrashen incited screams of agony, I still took notes. After all, I was taking the class too and wanted to be able to recreate the ties as well. And, yah know, Teacher’s Pet.
Once, as I was jotting down the steps, Veskrashen cinched his rope tight. I heaved in air, but still tried to keep writing, forcing myself to not focus on the pain. Then, of course, either Scott or Veskrashen (I can’t remember who because of how bad I was hurting) started taunting me, reminding me I needed to keep taking notes.
A room full of sick motherfuckers and their willing victims. Yet another fun class for my Sunday.
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