~ a story ~



– “I’ve never chained up ladies before. Hmm, I kinda liked it.”
– “Did you get enough meat?”
– “Be careful, these are wet.”
– “I’m just going to give you a little extra time so you can write your phone number down.”

“Did you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
“Really?”
“What?”
“The waiter, what he just said.”
“What did he say?”
“Your phone number.”
“What?”
“Giving you extra time so you can write your phone number.”
“What?”
“Yes.”

Her eyes grew wide and her mouth slacked open. He had… He was… Was he…?

Their server had been funny, joking throughout their meal. Her and her work friend just had an hour before needing to rush back to a late night meeting that evening. And she had been quite hungry. The restaurant was new and nearby, but her friend assured her the service was fast, and the stir fry was delicious.

She hadn’t noticed the chain quip when he explained the way the meal worked and then sectioned them off from the rest of the line. She thought he was just checking on their meal he made mention of meat, making sure they’d chosen well when they piled their bowls of food high for the grill. And the cups were damp when he brought their refills. But, in all of that, she hadn’t noticed the server’s innuendo.

Sure, he was attractive and funny, delivering those offhand comments each time he came to their table, but she didn’t take notice in that way. He was just being funny. He was just working hard for his tip. Apparently, though, he was after more than twenty percent.

Now she understood why her friend kept giggling each time he walked away, why her face was red and flushed, her body caved in and to the side of her seat, her arms literally around her middle. For the entirety of their meal, she hadn’t noticed a very attractive man had been flirting with her shamelessly.

Her friend quickly slipped in her credit card to the bill and left it on the side of the table.

“For entertainment factor alone, this is one me.”

The man flew by, picked it up, and went to run the card. She had but a minute to figure out what to say, what to do, before he came back.

When he walked back over, he sat the bill down by her friend, but then slid a piece of paper towards her.

“Here’s my number. Call it any time. Any where. Any position.” He then stared straight into her eyes, rolled his tongue over his lips, and walked away.

Her eyes shot to her friend.

“Let’s go, now.”

She nearly had to drag her friend out of the restaurant, doubled over in laughter.

“Ohmygod. Ohmygod. Ohmygod! Did you? Did you hear him?”
“Hear what? I just saw the slip of paper with the number. What did he say?”
“Any time. Any where. Any position.”
“Fuck…”

Her friend’s voice descending into a pitch she had never heard before.

“And then he licked his lips.”
“What!?!”
“Yes.”
“Fuck…”

The two women melted into their car.

“Are you gonna call him? You have to call him. That body. Those arms. And he licked his lips.”

She thought for a moment about his arms, his chest, and those lips.

She pulled out her phone.

“You’re gonna call him right now?”
“Not call…”

She typed a message on her phone:
So, when do you get off?
And hit SEND.

She waited, seeing if he’d take the bait. Her phone chimed.

Categorised as: Funny | Gen Fiction

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