For the past week I have suffered through the worst back pain I have ever experienced. It hurts when I stand up or sit down. It hurts when I bend for things. Occasionally it hurts if I sit a certain way or twist my hips.

This shit sucks.

I took for granted my mobility until it was taken away from me. A simple act, such as loading and unloading the dishwasher, is now a torment. Washing my hands in the restroom. Putting on socks. Everyday moments I gave no particular mind to are a struggle.

One of my coworkers gave me the information for their chiropractor. I will call as soon as I wake up tomorrow.

At first I thought this was simply my body’s reaction to work slowing down. Since my job is physical, I thought my body would simply rest and then return to normal. But I am not getting any better.

Yesterday the possible culprit dawned on me. Just before Christmas I attended a company holiday party at a bowling alley. I bowled three games while tipsy and then woke up achey. I initially wrote it off; now I’m afraid I can no longer wait for things to magically get better.

My main coping mechanism for pain is crying. Many times in the past week I’ve stopped myself from even starting. This isn’t the fun pain of a scene, the joyous wave of sensation I’ve sailed before. This is the bad kind of pain, the scary kind, where I don’t want anything else but for it to stop.

I hope it will, soon.

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