Today hasn’t been the best day, and, unfortunately, it is because it did not start well.

When my SO came to bed last night, it was at 1:48am. I know this because, somehow, it woke me up. In fact, I thought it might be time to go to the gym. It, obviously, was not. So I rolled over and went back to sleep, only to find myself devastatingly tired when 5am rolled around.

I woke up my SO and told him my keys were on the front table, code for: I’m not going to the gym today, but you can go by yourself. He snuggled up next to me and we slept for another two hours. In fact, we waited til the last possible moment to get up and out the door.

On the way out, my SO asked if I was okay. I said I was tired and, huh. Of course, he wanted to know what the “huh” was for. And this started yet another awkward conversation about our relationship and, more specifically, sex.

Important notes from said conversation:

1) In an ideal world, I’d be happy having sex once every week or two. He would want sex every other day or more. [Issue number one]

2) He is very touchy feely at home. I’m more a fan of PDA in public. He likes to stroke my breasts. I prefer he pull my hair. Basically we are not on the same page when it comes to physical affection. [Issue number two]

3) To find a happy medium, I offered we try a compromise number of times a week for sex and compromise PDA activities. He’s now upset, worried that each time we interact sexually he’ll feel like I’m only doing it to please him instead of myself. [Issue number three]

And of course this all happens the day AFTER my therapy session.

At least we talked about it, which is good. Of course there is also the problem that I did not divulge everything I was feeling or thinking, leaving an elephant in the room. Also he’s going on a fighting trip to Ohio for the weekend, which is never fun for me. And I’ve been frustrated lately with work. Basically, my life is not going the way I want it to, and this morning just ended up being yet another thing.

So yeah, not the best of days today. The one thing I am happy about, though, is I wrote another story. And I’m probably going to submit to some literary websites and journals soon. I am desperately trying to get my feet wet.

In an ideal world, I would have us in couples therapy. For now, talking is good, so I’ll stick with that.

Categorised as: Emotional | Random | Sex | Vent | Writing

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