Category: PoeticVaca

  • Connection

    I expected little from my last night at Frolicon. I had already enjoyed a good event, nothing terribly momentous but a few days of chill fun.

    So as I walked towards Vlad and Itonia, I smiled, happy to see familiar faces. Vlad was dressed in a dapper pinstripe suit and held a length of white nylon rope. Itonia wore a black and red leather corset with decorative buckles, as well as a black skirt to match.

    Vlad was working on an asymmetrical chest harness on Itonia, but his length of rope was a bit short. When I greeted them, he was in the process of untying her. Once free, I asked if I could play with his rope.

    I’m not sure how the conversation veered this way but it was decided Vlad would go get his rope bag. Itonia and I stayed in the dungeon chatting.

    On a whim, I cinched the bite of the rope to my boot with a larks head and wound the chord up my leg, finishing with a loop around my waist. When Vlad returned, he and Itonia both agreed my work reminded them of a bionic leg.

    Almost as soon as Vlad returned, Itonia walked off, saying she wanted water.

    Vlad held rope in his hands, having wanted to tie Itonia again. Being a good friend and all, I offered my body for his work.

    Again Vlad wanted to tie an asymmetrical harness. He started by securing my left wrist in front. Vlad then wound his ropes all around my chest and over my shoulders, creating interesting patterns. He pulled a length through my legs, placing it in the cleft between my thigh and cunt. He finished by tying my right hand behind my back.

    As he worked, I found myself slipping into rope space. I leaned my body into his, brushed my hair and head against his.

    “You smell so good,” he whispered into my ear.

    Vlad too got into the moment, drawing the rope across my body, being brave with his ties. Before, when Vlad had tied Itonia with the one length of rope, he had seemed uncertain. I wanted to make him feel comfortable, wanted him to relax into the tying, wanted to get him out of his head and into his hands.

    Before we even began, while merely chatting, I spoke about how tying isn’t just about the final product. It isn’t just about the type of rope or the knots. It’s about the connection between the persons involved. A rope scene isn’t just about the rope.

    When Vlad tied me, we shared a connection.

    As Vlad worked, Itonia ventured back for a moment, this time with two new acquaintances in tow. She stayed for but a moment before walking off with them. A few minutes later she returned, my body leaning up against a column in the room, my moans obvious, Vlad and I deep in the thick of the scene.

    “Tell me when she looks bored.”
    “Oh, she’s definitely not bored.”

    The playful banter between the two of them only added to the energy we were building.

    I heard them whisper something about having not asked my permission. Vlad was then on his knees by my side holding his cane. I gave my consent to its use.

    My ass had almost forgotten the sting of a cane. Pops of pain seared my rump. With each stroke, I tipped my hips forward, then again arched my back, presenting my ass for further abuse. Itonia stroked my hair.

    As the number of his hits increased, my resolve faltered. I began jumping about, avoiding his blows. Cleverly, I used Itonia as a shield. She had positioned herself right beside me. I twisted my body, pushing my ass into her, anything to avoid the next blow.

    The two of them plotted. How would they get me to stand still?

    Pulling over a chair, they had me kneel in it. Itonia sat in a chair in front of me, stroking my hair still and caressing my face. I kissed her palm each time it came near my lips.

    “Do you like thuddy?”
    “Yes.”
    “Shit, do I have anything that’s thuddy?”
    “Your fists.Your elbows.Your knees.Your forearms.”

    Vlad began punching my ass. Whereas before I had yelped from his blows, my voice once again switched to moans. His punches rocked my body forward. My left hand gripped the back of the seat while my chest bounced off the seat’s back. I could feel myself getting wet.

    I stopped the scene for but a moment, asking Vlad to move the rope near my crotch. It was hemp rope and I didn’t want to…flavor it with myself. He loosened the rope. It now hung low enough to avoid my cunt which had turned quite slick.

    Vlad began his punches again. I groaned and grunt as he alternated his hits on my cheeks. And before I knew it, I could feel it growing. Could feel the warmth in my abdomen. Could feel I needed to ask him a question.

    “Please, please may I cum?”

    Itonia and Vlad were both shocked at my request. Being a good friend, Itonia gave me a little advice.

    “You have to ask nicely. And you have to you the magic word. He likes to be called Daddy.”

    In that brief moment, I was as shocked as they previously were. Was this really about to happen? Was I really about to scream the title I had only uttered alone at home while wrenching around in my bed, my self administered pleasure engulfing me?

    Itonia’s Daddy said yes.

  • A Tour

    Before I even showed up In San Francisco, I already had plans. I knew there were two places I wanted to visit, Mr. S Leather & Wicked Grounds. These two stops would be easy, seeing as they are merely a block away from each other and only a mile and a half walk from the hotel.

    However, the other activity I wanted to enjoy took prior planning. On Thursday night, my first night in San Francisco, my first night at IMsL, I took a tour of Kink.com.

    Any adult can take a tour of Kink.com. There studios are located in the San Francisco Armory. But, first, you must pre-purchase a ticket online. And while $25 seemed like a hefty price to some I spoke to, I found the adventure worth it.

    In my red sundress and Zim jacket, and carrying my Hello Kitty bag with my notebook, I hopped a bus in front of the hotel and headed towards the Armory. I was actually worried I would be late, but, as fate would have it, I was thirty minutes early.

    As I stood outside the door, after having been instructed I would not be allowed inside til five minutes beforehand, I wondered if I would be the only visitor that day. Of course, I was not. There were about 16-18 total for my tour.

    Our guide was a lovely brunette named Cara. Very excited, bubbly, with lots of information about the building and the business inside of it, I enjoyed her tidbits of information as she escorted us through the multiple levels of the building.

    We visited the set of Hogtied.

    Ultimate Surrender, where hot chicks like to wrestle and fuck each other.

    A Butcher Room, complete with fake sides of beef.

    The Showers, which Cara informed us, though they looked nasty, were indeed completely sanitary.

    The Chain Room, which those of you who have visited my Fet account will see a quite cute picture of me caught up in.

    The Fucking Machines Laboratory with, I shit you not, the robot from Short Circuit; he has, indeed, been converted into a fucking machine.

    A Speakeasy with actual alcohol for when co-workers need a respite after hours.

    And an everyday apartment set, previously used for the upcoming film Cherry, starring Heather Graham and James Franco. Unfortunately no, James Franco did not fuck on the set.

    There were large 55 gallon drums of lube, as well as sanitizer. There was the Dungeon’s dream room, a prop closet over fifty feet long with toys and implements for days. There was the underground former shooting range; this was an armory, after all, for the National Guard. We saw the wood shop, and heard an employee band practicing. And we even got to watch a movie being filmed from far, far away. All of it was a hell of a lot of fun.

    But the climax of the tour, what I had been waiting for, was upstairs.

    The Upper Floor.

    Lush red curtains. Thick carpets. Long dining tables. Oil paintings. And that was just in the Dining Rooms.

    The Parlor, that was where the action happened.

    The fireplace with the chalkboard noting the orgasm challenge. The lonely Shibari ring hanging from the ceiling. The bronze statue of a naked woman, which was then tied in rope. The cabinet stocked with rope and other fun things. The cushioned high back chair that could sit three. And the four oil paintings, hung on the far wall, with one face that I knew.

    Stefanos, the Steward.

    Yes, I wanted to be on the Upper Floor. I wanted to play there. Wanted to submit there. Wanted to be hurt there. Wanted to be fucked there.

    But this was a tour, and nothing more.

    We made our way back downstairs, the tour ended.

    As everyone else filtered out, none of whom had seemed kinky, I stepped aside so that I could thank Cara for the tour. I had quite enjoyed myself, seeing all the places I had only glimpsed through my computer screen.

    She thanked me for my enthusiasm during the tour. Indeed, though I asked few questions, I had LOTS of comments, especially pertaining to how much I loved the site and the amazing sets we saw.

    I said goodnight, because it was getting late, and ventured back outside. Finding the bus stop, I patiently waited. About ten minutes passed, and here came Cara again. Turns out she took the bus home. We chatted for a bit more, but she disembarked before I did.

    Though I did not play, did not get tied up to the ring, flogged or whipped, slapped our beat, still, I had toured Kink.com.

    I smiled as I made my way back to the hotel, back to IMsL, back to my normally scheduled vacation.

  • Perched

    I initially saw them in the hallway just outside of the Dungeon.

    A Submissive, A Switch, and A Dominant.

    The Domme was female bodied, standing back from the Sub and Switch, wearing black Carhart pants, a black t-shirt, and black leather boots. The male bodied Switch wore a leather thong and a leather chest piece with a chain attached on the back. The chain connected to the leather straight jacket worn by the female bodied Submissive. She had no choice but to walk behind him.

    It was by pure luck that I had encountered the Trio. As Amethyst, Devi, and I made our way back towards our shared hotel room, I happened to gaze upon the group in an intense exchange against a wall.

    “Can we pause for a moment?”

    I leaned against the opposite side about fifteen feet down the hall.

    The Domme watched as the Switch held the Sub against the wall. The Sub’s mouth was covered with black tape. He held her neck while kissing her lips through the barrier. There was just something about that moment, about that chemistry, that caught me.

    Devi and Amethyst could see my interest. They said they were going to head back to the room and, if I wanted, I could meet them at the Burlesque show at midnight, in about an hour and a half.

    As they walked away, I turned back to the Trio. The Switch now massaged the Sub’s crotch through her skirt. Still, the Domme just stood back and calmly watched. A breath later, the Domme stepped forward, pulled back the Sub’s hair, and spoke something to the Switch. It was too noisy and I was too far away to hear them.

    Releasing the Sub from against the wall, the Trio moved. I stayed where I was, not wanting to disrupt their dynamic.  And I didn’t want to seem like a stalker. I watched as they progressed down the hall and into the Dungeon.

    And that was the moment; that was the choice. Go back to the room or follow them?

    I eased into the Dungeon, seeing an all-to-familiar scene: the last night of a convention, a room full of people, play happening everywhere. I glanced around, and through the ordered chaos I saw the Trio slowly slinking about.

    Instead of following them, I sought out an already in-progress scene. Almost at once, my eyes locked on a simple impact scenario. A man was kicking a woman on all fours in her ass. I smiled, knowing the delicious feeling, and re-positioned myself for a better view.

    As their scene intensified, his kicks grew harder, rocking her body on the ground, to the point of occasionally splaying her form across the floor. In a flash, she would pull herself back up. I knew that need, that desire to take the pain, to be the good little bottom for your top. I watched them play til they finished.

    As fate would have it, as they began to wrap up, the Trio again came into my sight line. They had finally found an open piece of play equipment, a mere twenty feet to my left. As they set up, I took a moment to slowly turn around, taking in the rest of the scenes in the room. I noted some amazing rope work on the main suspension rig, two spanking bench scenes, some wax play, and other various happenings.

    As I slowly rotated, a woman sitting on the floor looked up at me and commented on how much she loved my boots. The man sitting with her gave equal compliment to my leather. I thanked them.

    Slipping into a conversation, we chatted about the scenes surrounding us. The gentleman stepped away for a moment, returning with two chairs.

    “Would you like a seat?”

    I explained that I don’t really sit in chairs in a Dungeon, with my constant looking all around at the sights to see.

    “Oh, so you perch?”

    Indeed, with the chair he gave me, I rested a knee in the seat while leaning my body against the back. Catching bits and pieces of multiple scenes, my eyes drifted first to the Trio. The Sub was restrained to a chair similar to those used for massages. Her skirt and straight jacket removed, her arms were secured as the Switch and Domme worked her back and backside with impact toys.

    Next I saw a new rough body play scene had started on the opposite side of the Dungeon. A Top and Bottom fought, wrestling on the ground until the Bottom submitted. The Top and Bottom would then stand, the Top transitioning to using impact implements as the Bottom leaned against a cross.

    Also, nearer to the Trio, a whip scene had begun, the thrower kissing strikes across the receiver’s back and ass.

    Finally, with a suspension rig close at hand, there was also a steady stream of turnover as waiting rope duos prepped on the side while the current two-some flew.

    Surprising to me, I found my eyes going back to the rough body play most often. The power dynamic between the Top and Bottom sizzled even as I watched fifty feet away.

    The Trio’s play, though interesting, seemed monotonous. Lots of flogging, but little obvious variety. It was not until they broke out in a quite sexy threesome on the floor that they held my attention for more than a minute.

    When all my viewing eventually died down, I thought I might try to catch the end of the Burlesque show or possibly go to bed early. But, as I grabbed my things, I looked up and saw Itonia and Vlad, who I had met the night before. We had initially connected as friends of friends, messaging on Fet before the event.

    With smiles exchanged, I went over to say hi.

  • Choked Out

    My Last Night: Choked Out
    As we all walked back into the Naked House, I offered a small reprieve for NHF. Since he had missed my previous strip tease, I thought I could instead give him a sensual unzipping of my Zim jacket.

    Settling back into the living room, everyone sat on the couch… except NHF, who stood in the middle of the room right behind me, right where I thought I would be dancing for him. I could hear and feel him take his shirt off. I then felt his whisper in my ear.

    “May I take control?”

    His arms around me, I leaned my head back and brushed my cheek on his chin. Gripping my hair, his free hand found my zipper. Slowly, oh so slowly, he crept my zipper down my jacket.

    I rolled my body into his movement, snaking my flesh so that I might get close to the heat of his hand, so that I could add to the sensuality of the experience. Releasing my hair, his finger hooked into the top of my jacket and slipped it over my left shoulder. I curved my arm and shoulder inward, helping him.

    “Let me do all the work,” he whispered.

    I damn near melted right there.

    “Press your body against me.”

    He requested what I already wanted to do.

    NHF began running his hands all over my body, exploring my flesh, my curves. He caressed my breasts, squeezed my hips, gripped my ass. Trailing his fingers back up, NHF pinched my nipples. I let out a small yelp. “That’s what I like to hear.”

    Gripping my strands once more, NHF used the hair guidance system to reposition me in front of the fuck bed. Again his hands explored my body as I pressed my flesh into his.

    “She’s leaving tomorrow?”

    The disappointment was shared.

    NHF sat down on the bed, spreading his legs wide. I followed, nestling myself into him. I was again surrounded by his arms. His hands once more went to my breasts. He began pinching them again. He wanted to hear me scream. After another yelp, this time I whispered to him.

    “You can pinch harder.”

    He increased his pain, until finally my voice built up and a scream exploded from my lips. NHF gripped my breasts hard and pulled my body close. I rocked my hips on the bed and into his crotch, the passion of the moment overtaking me.

    But it was time for the intended fun. NHF prepped for my choke out. Sliding his arm around my neck, NHF lightly squeezed and released. I told him how his grip hurt my wind pipe a bit. NHF instructed me to turn my head to the right. He tried again. My wind pipe now eased, NHF told me to raise my left hand. This would be his signal for when to stop. Once my arm dropped, NHF would no longer squeeze.

    The first time he choked me, I lost control of my left arm before I went out. My head leaned back. I began giggling. I was loopy and happy, smiling with a breathy laugh.

    For his second choke, I again lost control of my arm before I went out. This time my forearms and fronts of my thighs tingled. I grumbled a little, but was curious about the new sensation.

    For his third choke, I pushed myself to keep my arm up. I could feel it wanting to drop, but I held it up, not wanting to be disappointed once more.

    Suddenly, everything went black. A flash of images rushed towards me. I had a vague dream of walking on a side street in a residential neighborhood.

    Gently, my eyes opened. I heard music. I couldn’t remember where I was or what I was doing. In a rush, it came back to me. NFH still had his arms around me. I could feel his chest against my back. I felt exhilarated, yet comforted.

    NHF complimented me, noted how I didn’t resist at all during my chokes, completely submitting to his will.

    After a few more breaths, NHF got me to stand up and sat me in the comfy chair I had previously used for bootblacking. I grinned ear-to-ear, swimmy loopy happy.

  • NHF Introduction

    My Last Night: NHF Introduction

    Shivering, but smiling, I sat in a chair on the side porch, joining Belarian and the Naked House Friend as they enjoyed some cigars. Introducing myself, both NHF and I were able to put faces to FetLife names.

    Almost as soon as we began chatting, I noticed NHF had a nice head of ash on his cigar. Being the cigar slut that I am, having just met this person, I asked to eat ash out of his hand. He politely declined with a “Not yet.”

    Instead NHF watched as I partook of a treat from Belarian’s hand. I stood up and checked that the backyard was clear, including the neighbor’s sight lines. Bending over, with just my Zim jacket on, the covering slipped up my ass, exposing my no-longer-hidden nudity. I happily licked and sucked the salty flecks from Belarian’s hand.

    In the chill of the Minnesota evening, the three of us began talking about our journeys in kink. I mentioned Suicide Girls, Bound, the Ex, and my DO adventures. Belarian and NHF spoke about the Minnesota scene, jumping neck deep into the fun, and meeting each other at a most opportune moment.

    As we talked, NHF’s cigar built up ash. Once again, I asked to eat it. This time he gave his consent with a question. “May I take control?” I whole-heartedly submitted.

    NHF rolled his ash into his hand and passed his cigar off to Belarian. With his free hand, NHF gripped my hair. Holding me back as I went for the ash, NHF guided my head as I licked and sucked away the salty flecks. NHF quietly whispered his enjoyment, pleased as I ate his ash. I would have relished the feast for longer, but NHF stopped me, holding my head back and pulling his hand away.

    As we continued to converse, Scotty came back out. It was time for him to go. He said his goodbyes, including giving me a hug.

    Soon after Scotty left, PrincessA and Hautewerk found us outside. Our conversation continued, mostly centered on the Minnesota kink scene. PrincessA mentioned her interest in finding a knife top. NHF voiced his skills in that area. This information piqued my interest, as well, though I kept my opinion to myself.

    NHF also mentioned how he enjoyed knocking people out. I pipped up, saying I liked breath play. NHF then explained how, when he makes someone pass out, it wasn’t breath play. In fact he was instead restricting blood flow to the brain, a technique he’d learned through martial arts training. This intrigued me even more. I said I would love to have him choke me out. PrincessA, listening to our conversation, was skeptical.

    By this time, Belarian again had ash to give. He asked me for permission to rest his ash on my tongue. I allowed his play, asking him to be very careful. He was only able to manage a little; I was tentative, nervous. PrincessA asked for the same treatment from Belarian. He was able to get more into her mouth. Belarian, in turn, asked NHF to place the rest of the ash into his mouth.

    “Tell me if it is too hot.” As Belarian and NHF played, the last of the ash fell to the ground.
    “It was too hot, wasn’t it?”

    NHF, by this time, also had more ash. Again I asked to partake of his treat.

    “May I take control again?”

    Gripping my hair as he had before, NHF guided my head. Instead of bending my neck and eating from his hand, NHF instead moved his hand, dragging his palm and fingers over my tongue and lower lip. He turned my head to the side and lightly kissed my cheek. As I tried to kiss his lips, he held my head back, keeping my lips at bay. Instead he gave me just a hint of the affection, teasing me so.

    “You make excellent noises.”
    “So I’ve been told.”
    “I want to choke you out.”
    “Okay.”

    We headed back inside.

  • Scotty’s Boots

    My Last Night: Scotty’s Boots
    Back inside The Naked House, we all settled in the living room. I placed my bootblacking kit on the floor by a comfy chair in the corner. 

    Who was to be first?

    Unfortunately, Scotty had to leave in about forty-five minutes. It was a school night.

    Scotty sat in my chair. PrincessA, Hautewerk, and Belarian took spots on the couch.

    I had previously informed the group how I preferred cigar service while nude, as well as bootblacking. Now that we were inside, I decided to give the group a striptease. 

    Using the entrance arch to lean against, I slowly took off my buttoned down white shirt. I lifted my gray tank top off. Turned around, I bent over, unzipped my skirt, and slid it down my legs. My panties followed. I unhooked my bra and flung it away, but covered my breasts. Slowly turning, I revealed them once I faced the front, timing it perfectly with the music playing on my iPhone.

    Show over, I sat on the floor, again on PrincessA’s blanket, and began my work. I first cleaned Scotty’s boots with saddle soap, taking care to massage in the liquid and massage it off with my towel. With his boots resting on my thighs, Scotty tormented me as he wished, pressing into my flesh and dragging his heel along whenever he so chose.

    When I finished cleaning his boots, I asked Scotty if I could kiss them. He said I could. With his heels still on my thighs, I bent forward and worshipped his leather. At one point, Scotty began kicking my inner thigh. I could tell he was aiming for my cunt, but I was seated in a way to make this move difficult, if not impossible.

    Finished with worshipping his leather and ready to start conditioning, I resettled myself, spreading my legs in anticipation of my work. Scotty took the opportunity and began kicking my cunt. The blows rocked me back, but I pushed into them. I started to moan.

    Adjusting my body again, I sat up closer and began riding his boot, my clit rubbing against his leather. I asked permission to cum, twice. He gave his approval both times. Finished with his torment, Scotty raised his boot to my face. I kissed and licked my juices off of his leather. I then rewashed the area and continued with his blacking.

    As I was wrapped up in Scotty’s boots and his torments, I heard sounds in the background. A friend of the naked house arrived, though we were not introduced. Two people ended up on the bed, moaning as well. And it sounded like two people were having fun on the couch. I saw none of this, though. My world began and ended with Scotty and his boots.

    As I applied Huberd’s to Scotty’s leather, a particular Prince song began playing. Scotty liked it so much, he turned the music up and began singing along. I smiled. Soon after, a particular Usher song began. I again smiled.

    As I finished Scotty’s boots, I still did not want to let go of his leather. I continued to massage his boots, running my hands down the length and up the sides, over and over. When I was finally satisfied, I placed his boots down on the ground. Scotty looked down on me and thanked me.

    I asked Scotty if I could kiss him. He declined, sighting a cold. Instead he began massaging my back. His comfort turned to exquisite pain as he drove his knuckled into my flesh. I silent screamed, loving the torment of his hands.

    Our time finished, Scotty again thanked me for my work, hugged me, stood and walked about. I cleaned up my kit. It was then I noticed PrincessA & Hautewerk on the bed. Wanting to give them their space, I left the living room as well.

    Curious to meet the new arrival, I headed upstairs, thinking that was where everyone had gone. But, as I quietly strolled the hallway, I heard no one. A quick inspection of the attic proved fruitless as well. 

    Where could they be?

    And then I remembered the side door was unlocked. Grabbing my Zim jacket,  and zipping it up, I slid outside, the smell of cigars the first thing to hit my senses.

  • The Journey Home

    My journey in rope has not always been easy. In fact, most times, it’s been downright brutal. Being around people who know so much more than me, have done it so much longer than I have, and all of them having such faith in me…It’s just so fucking intimidating. I’ve said it before: it often feels like I’m a Sophomore hanging out with Seniors.

    So when I fell Friday night, when I fucked up, it hurt on more than just the physical level. Emotionally, I had lost my center. I had failed, not just myself, but the people who taught me, the people who cheered me on. I felt like complete and total shit.

    But I knew I couldn’t stay there. I knew I couldn’t let that be the end of it. I knew I couldn’t get back to who I was before I fell, at least not in a day, but I could start the journey home.

    Saturday I again found my grove at the event. I had my boots blacked by Her Treasure. I attended an excellent non-monogamy class. I planned a play date with a friend which is likely to be horribly hot. I experienced huge amounts of ashy, smokey fun at the cigars and boots social. I introduced myself to folks, chatted, laughed, and made friends.

    With the high of cigars and boots still lingering on my skin and in my hair, I grabbed my rope bag from my room and headed down to the dungeon. I found the same rig. I laid out the same ropes. I undressed. I left my boots on. I stretched.

    I rigged my Shibari ring in a way that I knew would not, could not, fail unless my webbing split and ripped apart. I tied the same chest harness, hip harness, and ankle cuff. I held onto my ring and let a deep breath out.

    You are not going to fall. You are not going to fall.

    I sat into my ropes, let them take my weight, and swung for a bit. I didn’t dare let myself close my eyes. I spun around one way and then the other.

    I stood up. I held onto the ring. I breathed.

    You are not going to fall. You are not going to fall.

    I sat back into my ropes. I lifted my right boot, and then my left, gripping onto my rope and the ring. I let myself go inverted, but my hands didn’t dare let go of my rope. I kept looking up at the webbing. I wouldn’t let go.

    I stood up. I held onto the ring. I breathed.

    You are not going to fall. You are not going to fall.

    I knew I couldn’t end like this. Yes, I had let the ropes take the weight. Yes, I had gone inverted. But I still lacked the trust in my work, the trust in myself. I had to take the leap.

    I sat back in my ropes. I threw my feet up.

    You are not going to fall. You are not going to fall.

    I slowly let go. My hands rested on my lower back. My ropes, my work, took my weight. I breathed. I smiled.

    I sat back up. I landed. I brushed my face against my ring. I felt like I was home again.

    Slowly, deliberately, I unwound each of my lifting lines. I drug the chords across my body. I threw them to the floor. I took apart my ankle cuff, ran the rope across my skin, and flung it into the pile. I untied my chest and hip harnesses. I smelled their aromatic hemp flavor before letting them join the others. Using a chair, I reached up and let my webbing down. I sat beside my ropes, smiling, happy.

    I recoiled each rope, placed them all back in my bag, and packed my things away. My clothes back on, everything ready, I departed the rig, pleased that it was no longer a scary place. I had learned.

    As I wondered around the other play spaces, my smile could not be stopped. As I watched people play, and remembered the fun I had had earlier, I felt like me again. I felt free again. I felt like I was home.

  • Cigars

    My Last Night: Cigars

    As we adjourned to the back yard, I carried in tow my bootblacking kit, my cigar travel kit, one of my notebooks, some dark chocolate, and my water bottle. My haul was precarious, but I managed to balance my items in a tall tower and land the the structure gently on the ground.

    Inside the house, PrincessA retrieved a blanket for me to lie on. I scurried back inside to grab it.

    However, when I came back out, Scotty was in the midst of lighting his cigar. I, unfortunately, had forgotten to mention I would be providing cigar service that evening. As the other three settled in, we began.

    PrincessA handed me all three of her cigars. One by one, I prepped each for its smoker, removing the cellophane, the band, wetting the end, and cutting the tip. Because of the chill in the air, my lighter was not yet warm enough for use. Scotty allowed me to borrow his rather impressive torch, a large silver lighter about half the size of my hand with four powerful flames.

    With everyone puffing away, the group indulged me in my Teacher’s Pet fetish. I opened my notebook, found my notes from Edge’s cigar play class last June at Fusion, and began.

    As I spoke about the many uses of ash, smoke, and the heat of the cherry, PrincessA, Hautewerk, and Belarian listened intently. I knew, though, that Scotty was well versed in this area already. In fact, as I spoke, he gave his own tidbits.

    When I finished, Scotty explained he was developing his own cigar play presentation. He went on to explain a few different activities that I did not know about. For what Scotty called smoke shots, he blew a cloud into his whiskey glass and covered the rim. Scotty explained this would alter the flavor of the liquor. He then handed the glass to me to taste. The rest of the group tried this as well.

    Scotty spoke about purging the gas built up in the cigar by blowing out. This he used as an opportunity for sensation play. With one’s forefinger and thumb creating the space to play in, as well as acting as a safeguard against too much heat, Scotty demonstrated the technique on Belarian, using the back of his neck.

    PrincessA then requested to do the same to me. Holding my hair out of the way, and checking to make sure my tie would not be an issue, PrincessA blew the warmth onto the back of my neck. Later on in the evening, she again used this sensation play on my small amount of exposed cleavage.

    As I spoke about the many different ways to use ash, smoke, and heat, PrincessA asked to try the various techniques on me.

    One of my favorite parts of cigar play is eating ash out of people’s hands. PrincessA was the first to ask. After her, I ate ash out of Belarian’s hand, too. When I asked Scotty for permission, he at first politely declined. He later granted me the privilege once he finished his section of the cigar teach.

    A rather delightful part of cigar play for me is when people blow smoke into my hair. Though I cannot see the effect myself, I explained how others have said it looks like my head is on fire.

    PrincessA asked if she could blow smoke into my hair. I, of course, gave my consent. As she did, the group marveled at the effect. Scotty joined in, adding even more to the cloud. Later, all four participated, to my great glee.

    As part of the cigars experience, both Scotty and I had brought dark chocolate. I broke open one of his bars and passed pieces out. PrincessA rather liked holding a piece of chocolate with her teeth and having someone break off a chunk. She did this with both Hautewerk and myself. She also enjoyed it when I popped pieces of chocolate into her mouth.

    As our get together wore on, everyone became more relaxed, more brave.

    Scotty asked me to come close to him. With a cloud in his mouth, Scotty blew all over my shirt, the smoke sticking to the fabric and then rising towards my face. He blew smoke into his leather jacket and pulled my head into the cloud.

    PrincessA asked me if she could smear chocolate on my body, blow smoke on it, and then lick it off. I asked her what body part she wanted to use. PrincessA then bemoaned the fact that their backyard was exposed.

    She suggested either my neck or my thigh. I, being brave, asked Scotty if I could sit on his lap. With his permission, I rested on Scotty’s legs as PrincessA began smearing her chocolate. Meanwhile Scotty gripped my hair, pushing it away from my neck, using his smoke as sensation play while PrincessA prepped her treat. As she licked chocolate off of my thigh, I leaned my body into Scotty’s chest. I felt rather spoiled at that moment.

    For almost the entirety of our time outside, I worked hard on not being distracted. Scotty wore a pair of lovely mid-calf black boots. Each time he relaxed, stretching his leg out, his boot sat just inches from me.

    Once Scotty presented his boot to me with some ash flecks on it, which he pointed out. I politely asked if I might clean his boots. He said yes. On my hands and knees, I kissed away the ash. Later I noticed some inadvertent ash again. Once more he allowed me to kiss his boots.

    With my bootblack kit right beside me, I wanted to love his leather. However, it was getting rather chilly and the Sun was going down. We retired back inside the house, the night nowhere near ending.

  • Preparation

    My Last Night: Preparation
    During my first night in Minnesota, with PrincessA’s permission, I sent out a general invite for folks to come to her home Wednesday evening, arriving around 5pm-ish, to enjoy some cigars in The Naked House’s backyard. It would be a small party, making the most of my last hours in Minnesota.

    One of PrincessA’s roommates, Hautewerk, as well as another house guest, Belarian, being already in the house and up for some fun, decided to join us. Three people replied to my invitation; we awaited to see who would attend.

    Before the festivities were to begin, PrincessA and I took a quick jaunt to a local tobacco shop.

    Walking towards the establishment, my nostrils were at once filled with the sweet aroma of cigar smoke. I smiled ear-to-ear before I even walked in the door.

    Once inside, I was amazed at their selection: a large humidor with a wide variety of sticks; multiple gorgeous humidors ready to be purchased; smaller travel pelican-case style cigar holders; many different lighters, punches, and combinations of the two. PrincessA and I only scratched the surface of the wonder of this shop.

    Stepping into the humidor, PrincessA was unsure what she should purchase. Needing to buy three cigars (one for herself, one for Hautewerk, and one for Belarian), she leaned on me for suggestions. I steered PrincessA to milder options: an Acid Blondie, a Java Latte, and a Casa de Garcia. All three were good for a first smoke and not too expensive.

    For myself, I wanted to have a few cigars in case anyone wanted another smoke, and for when I was in California. I purchased an Acid Blondie and an Acid Earthen.

    I was also in the hunt for both a travel humidor and a punch. At first I went for a pelican-style case, but then I saw some lovely leather options. I choose a black leather case with a cedar inner holder. All the punches available were either not my style or pushed me over my budget, $50 total.  I saved that purchase for another day.

    After our tobacco and accessories purchases, PrincessA and I swung by an alcohol shop to pick up some whiskey.  She wanted a smooth drink, so, as per the suggestion of the clerk, PrincessA procured a bottle of Jesse James whiskey.

    All preparations set, we headed back to the house.

    Our first arrival was Scotty. He was a tall man, broad, with a big smile, a leather jacket, AND leather boots. PrincessA and I greeted him at the door. I introduced myself and thanked him for coming to our little shindig.

    Settling in, the group got to chatting. Around 5:45pm, PrincessA and I decided it was time to dress up.

    “Should I wear my boots?” Why did I even bother asking?

    PrincessA wore her boots, as well, zipped up over her jeans, with a black and silver tank top. She grabbed a jacket for outside to guard against the possible cold.

    I knew my chosen outfit: little black skirt, gray tank top, white button up collar shirt, black tie. I opted to put my boots on downstairs while enjoying yet more conversation.

    Properly adorned, we all headed outside.

  • Holding Hands

    As any of you who follow my Twitter feed know, I spent the majority of my yesterday with PrincessA at the Mall of America. Though we would not classify ourselves as “shoppers”, we spent about five hours in the mall and came away with nice hauls. My highlights include a new pair of heels, a pair of purple flats (yes, purple), a secondhand kimono and obi, and a pair of Invader Zim booty shorts (I rule!). PrincessA found shoes for a dress and headbands for work. It was a fun day.

    But what stood out for me the most was a simple gesture. As we walked, PrincessA held my hand. Casually, she slipped her left hand into my right as we continued our trek through the endless array of stores, shops, and food stops.

    When we stopped for ice cream, she checked-in with me, asking if it was okay that she had given the affection. I assured her it was perfectly fine; we were friends, so yes, she could, by all means, hold my hand.

    As we walked, I wondered what the people around us thought. What conclusions did they make up in their minds about PrincessA and I from the simple act of holding hands?

    And, since I was wondering about everyone else, I turned the lens back on myself. How did I feel about my friendship with PrincessA, about holding her hand?

    It was, in fact, refreshing to dwell on this thought exercise. PrincessA and I are friends. Period. No big F. No underlying hope or dream. Just friends. And you know what, I really like that. With her, there is no pressure, no expectation. I can just be and that’s perfectly okay.

    Maybe that is why I was nervous but not panicked at the idea of visiting her. I knew that, no matter what, PrincessA had no expectations, no hidden desires. It would just be two friends getting to hang out and have random fun.

    And I also knew I felt the same. It’s been so relaxing to not have to constantly think about what my underlying emotions are regarding this action or that comment. I just am here in Minnesota. I can just be and everything will be alright. My whole world does not rest on saying the right thing or not saying the wrong thing.

    At the end of my two week Spring Break, I start therapy. And though I am nervous about it, I am also relieved. I can finally begin talking to a professional about the whirlwind in my head: my anxiety, my insecurities, my bullshit. I can finally start intensely working through my issues, and just maybe I’ll come out the other side a stronger more fulfilled person.

    My time with PrincessA has been what I had hoped for: relaxed, refreshing, fun, and rejuvenating. And I still have fourteen hours to fill.