poeticdesires

Category: Rant

  • Don’t Go See LEGION

    My synopsis: It’s porn for the religious right.
    My SO’s: Guns, religion, and the black people die.

    I guess this is when I should throw in a spoiler alert warning, because I will talk about plot points and give away most, if not all, of the movie. Why? In hopes I can save at least one person from wasting their time and money on this disaster.

    Don’t get me wrong; it started off well enough. The opening monologue ended with a curse word and set you up well for the story. Michael falls, cuts off his wings, sews himself up, gets armed, and sets off on his mission. The beginning was spot on.

    And the acting of the cast’s heavy hitters (Paul Bettany as Michael, Dennis Quaid, and Charles S. Dutton) did give moments where I hoped I would walk out of the theatre happy. Dennis Quaid never takes himself too seriously, unless the material calls for it, and never so over the top I don’t believe him. Charles S. Dutton is obviously the conscience and a religious center of the characters. But then again, being as he’s an older black man, this was an easy and rather cliche way to fit him. Still he made it work well. Unfortunately, even this trio of men couldn’t save this movie for me.

    Most of the action takes place in and around a diner in the middle of the desert which Dennis Quaid owns. Charlie, the pregnant latter day Mary, is a waitress. Jeep, the new age Joseph, is Dennis Quaid’s son and mechanic for the small auto shop in back. Charles S. Dutton is, what else, the cook. We see a pair of dog tags, indicating he was in the military, but no other information about this part of his past is revealed. Tyrese needs to find a phone. Kate Walsh, Jon Tenney, and Willa Holland are a family stuck because their BMW breaks down. So you have these people in this one place with quite a shock to come.

    I can tell you the exact point when the movie turned for me: when Charlie talks about going to the abortion clinic. There are so many ways they could have played this, and I must say the monologue probably lacked because the writers where both men. But it also lacked because, I believe, they wrote this movie to fulfill an agenda and forgot they also needed to entertain, and not piss off, the audience. Charlie describes to Jeep how she felt sitting in the waiting room: like falling into an abyss, like she was dying, how it seemed like it was certain this baby had to be born, like she didn’t have a choice.

    It was that last line that put me over the edge. I get they wanted her to not care about the kid, as she then talks about hating the baby. I get they wanted her to be more of a Mary Magdalene than pure and innocent. But you don’t use that term without knowing exactly how people are going to take it, especially if you are the type of person who believes there shouldn’t be a choice. I was pissed; some deaths soon after eased my anger a little, but if I were in a crappier mood I might have walked out.

    Another thing I could not abide, much like in other movies, was the inconsistencies. Micheal specifically cites God’s frustration over man warring over bits of rock and killing each other as the reason for his loss of love for his creation. Yet, it takes Micheal “killing” all these people possessed by angels to save the hope of man.

    Also, at the end of the movie, the happy couple with their baby, because of course they are the only ones we meet, save Micheal and Gabriel, to survive, drive off in fresh clothes and a car. As the camera pans back, you see in the back of the vehicle a rather large cache of guns. Hello! Isn’t that a repeat of the problem: violence gets God mad. If anything, the movie should have ended with them farming a small plot of land, smiling and waving to their neighbors, or Jeep seeking out the “prophets” while Charlie is safe and protected.

    Speaking of the prophets: way to just throw something out there, not explain it, and then think we are just gonna go with it. Charlie and Jeep are suppose to go to find some guys, presumably, and learn to “follow the signs”. I get how they may have thought this was okay to toss in because they hint about Jeep’s dreams. However, this piece of info is yelled to Jeep by Michael as he prepares to fight Gabriel. Literally it’s two lines in the middle of lots of action, with little to no follow up on it. And Jeep, though he is suppose to be having dreams, doesn’t even recognize Michael, when we are suppose to believe he saw Michael’s fall to earth in a dream. Talk about suspension of disbelief. It’s nice that Jeep gets Michael’s tattoos but the lack of any further explanation was just plain laziness on the part of the writers.

    Okay, I will say I liked the small twist in the end, when Micheal descends from heaven to save Jeep from Gabriel killing him and the child. Gabriel had previously killed Michael the man. He was now Michael the angel again. I totally got that; Michael showed mercy where Gabriel did not and that is what God needed: someone to believe and hope when he could not. This plot twist, though a little cheesy, I can go with.

    What I didn’t get was why Michael slashed Gabriel in the mid section with his heavenly sword, he bled, but did not die. Gabriel asked Michael to kill him, Michael refuses, and Gabriel says he would not be so merciful. And this is when we get the line from Michael about why God choose to restore him: because he showed mercy.

    But then Gabriel just flies off. Why not make him a human? That seemed like the obvious point to be made in the moment: Gabriel must learn mercy and regain God’s love. Instead it’s just, “Hey, you didn’t kill the baby yet, so just leave.” Um, yeah, are we to believe he would just go home and relax, now that God saved Jeep and the others. Is he still gonna wanna kill the kid? Come on people, some type of explanation would be helpful here.

    Now I, being a black woman, must talk about how I was pissed that both the black folks died. Charles S. Dutton and Tyrese have this nice heart-to-heart on the roof of the diner and in my mind I know one of them will die. I can see it coming; older black man passes on wisdom to the younger and either the older one will sacrifice his life for the younger or vice versa. Wouldn’t you know it, both of them die trying to save a white person. Yes, I was pissed about that. Wouldn’t you be? It is so cliche, so out of nowhere, so annoying.

    I think this is also when I should voice my anger at the fact that both the Mary and Joseph were white. Come on! You couldn’t have made one of them African American, Latino, or Asian. For that matter, the cast couldn’t feature anyone who was Latino, Asian, or at least Native American? Just because you have two blacks guys in it doesn’t make it realistic. Laziness, yet again.

    What to talk about next? Well, there is part where a young kid goes at Charlie with a knife and I instantly got a flashback of Chuckie. Or there is the part where flies completely surround a car, causing them to turn back for the diner, but then no other plague is used in the movie. Or there is the part where the group gets a radio message saying militias have formed and are holding off the invaders and everyone wants to run to join them. Yup, you got that right. The movie advocated militias. In fact, that is where Jeep and Charlie run to in hopes of protection at the end of the movie, and we are to assume that’s where they got their new clothes and car.

    After all this angst, I feel I should mention there were some good parts to this movie. The first possessed person was an old lady with a fowl mouth that took everyone by surprise. Michael & Gabriel have a somewhat interesting back and forth on the merits of following God’s decree. And the daughter of the stranded family was slightly less than one dimensional: she deals with her mother’s breakdown after her father dies on an upside down cross, tries to save Tyrese, helps to deliver the baby, and sacrifices herself so Jeep and Charlie can get away from Gabriel.

    Oh my God, delivering the baby! Okay, this must have been the fastest contractions to push time frame ever. Charlie goes into the labor and seemingly delivers the baby in like five minutes. Horns are blasting and you know something is coming, so Michael gets her to push when she shouldn’t and the baby is delivered. Then, of all things, she is able to walk AND climb a mountain. This movie was written by men who obviously didn’t bother to do any research beyond jacking off to the Bible.

    Oh, and the sudden freezing of the possessed folks was yet again weird. Gabriel busts in and starts barreling through the diner, so Michael gets Jeep, Charlie, and the daughter to run out the back. When they do, everyone outside is just frozen. Jeep leads with a gun, but they basically form a line to the police car Michael drove in to the diner. As the group gets to the car, there is this kid with a bag on his head, swinging a stick that he hits on the hood. No, I have NO IDEA what this was for. None what so ever.

    When I see a movie like this, I get offended. Not just because of the obvious proselytizing, but because of the lack of quality. Plot points were thrown out willy nilly. There were obvious contradictions from message to action. And certain things just were not possible, I don’t care how much I’m suppose to suspend my disbelief. It is movies like this that piss me off, but also tell me my goals are quite attainable. Because if a piece of crap movie like this can get made, I know my ideas are solid gold shit.

    There were so many things I could have spent the past hour writing about: the controversial SCOTUS decision, the State of the Union, Evan Bayh. But no, Legion pissed me off that much.

    Take my advice: SAVE YOUR MONEY!

  • Resist The Urge To Turn Pussy

    Congressional Democrats, the shit we all saw coming has finally arrived. Scott Brown won the special election in Massachusetts today and will soon be the new junior Senator, thereby extinguishing your paper thin filibuster proof majority.

    Now, I know there are some of you who will see this as a reason to stop pushing for reform. You believe this election was a referendum on all you’ve tried to do this past year. Do me a favor: Resist The Urge To Turn Pussy.

    Martha Coakley lost the election because she ran a piss poor campaign. She believed the primary was her battle, and has since sat back, barely acknowledging her opponent. So, when Scott Brown did surge, because people are pissed now and he espoused fake populism, Coakley’s campaign was not prepared to react. And besides, no way was a Republican going to win Teddy Kennedy’s seat. Guess what, lazy Democrats up there in Massachusetts, it just happened.

    I say all this as 1) a lesson to anyone running for office; never take your constituency for granted.

    And 2) This was not a referendum on health reform. Let me repeat that: THIS WAS NOT A REFERENDUM ON HEALTH REFORM. This was the case of a lazy chick thinking she had already been crowned the new Senator from Massachusetts just because she’s a Democrat.

    So, to the main point of tonight’s ranting: Resist The Urge To Turn Pussy. This is not the time to back down. For the past months, you’ve tried to bring in your veto proof majority, only to almost run out of time. You’ve acquiesced, you’ve brokered deals, you’ve sucked out most of the life in the health reform package. So, now that you have an excuse to kick your asses into gear, I propose two courses of action.

    1) The sensible, and, might I add, kind of close to pussy thing to do, would be for the House to just pass the Senate bill. If the Progressives choke down the piece of shit, which has no public option and its means of payment kind of screws the pooch, the matter is done. If I were in office, and in a desperate mood, this would probably be the path I would take. Wham, bam, thank you Ma’am; we have health reform.

    Now, seeing as I’m not desperate, and in fact am in a full throttle, balls to wall kind of mindset, I would choose the second option:
    2) Like I said last night, Fuck ‘Em. Time for budget reconciliation baby. Little Bush used it to push his tax cuts for the wealthy. It’s about time the Democrats used it for something more, what’s the word…moral, humane, ethically justified, greatly needed in a country where as many as 45 million people lack basic coverage, 1 million go bankrupt every year from health related bills, and 45,000 people a year DIE because they lack health insurance.

    Yeah, that’s what I would do. But then again, I’m not an elected official. But I am a person who votes. Keep that in mind.

    As I’ve shared on this blog, I was recently laid off. And of course it was a shock. However, looking back on it now, I could’ve seen it coming. There were signs the company was not in the best shape and, as the saying goes, “Last hired, first fired.” So, I get it.

    I mention this incidence in my life because I see a parallel to Congressional Democrats’ situation now. Because you weren’t paying attention, because you took the Massachusetts Senate seat for granted, you lost it.

    I also say this because Congressional Democrats have the opportunity to do what I did: take this as a kick in the ass and start doing what you should’ve been doing in the first place. Push your agenda forward. Work more, harder. Make health reform a reality, with or without sixty votes. You have the ability to do it. Now it only takes the testicular fortitude.

    Congressional Democrats: Resist The Urge to Turn Pussy & finish what we elected you to do.

  • Man Up Or Shut Up

    I am so sick and tired of people putting all this importance and pressure on the Massachusetts Senate race. Face it DNC: you fucked up. You chose the wrong candidate for the position, didn’t realize her level of unawares about the most basic of Boston knowledge (namely that Kurt Schilling is NOT a Yankee fan), discovered her inability to run well most inopportunely (famously her snarky comment about not wanting to stand outside a ballpark and shake people’s hands), and you waited until too late to bring in the President for aid. YOU FUCKED UP.

    Lets be honest: Massachusetts doesn’t give a flying fuck about national health reform. They have a better system than the one on the table in Washington, so if it passes or fails, it won’t matter in the least to them. And, frankly, tell me a way Brown has fucked up in this campaign, past centerfolds aside.

    DNC: Ya’ll screwed the pooch royally with this one and a Democratic seat for over thirty years is about to turn red. If Teddy isn’t rolling over in his grave, he’s probably banging on the casket door so he can get out and whoop some ass.

    But, beyond this little kerfuffle, one Senator shouldn’t matter. In case we all have “New President Amnesia”, our past Commander-in-Chief was able to push through legislation without the super-majorities the Democrats now have.

    So what, you’re about to loose one Senate seat. Grow a set of balls and make the shit work. Force the Republicans to filibuster. Dare them to, in fact. Footage of any of them on the floor of Congress, blocking sweeping change that would aid 30 million American, is just what ya’ll will need for 1) public outrage to force them to stop &/or 2) re-election ads for the upcoming mid-terms.

    Republicans are currently the party of no, but when did the Democrats become the party of bend over? Your counterparts have screwed you basically from jump this legislative session. They were united against the stimulus in the House. Only one member, Joseph Cao of Louisiana, voted for the House’s health bill. In the Senate, not one voted for the Health overhaul and only Olympia Snow, Susan Collins, and, now Democrat, Arlen Specter voted for the stimulus. They’re blocking nominations just cause they want to, and no one seems to have the guts to knock a few heads and twist a few arms.

    Why has no one pulled the Chairmanship card with Lieberman? It’s this simple: We don’t care how you vote in the final ballot, but you vote with us on procedures or we’ll take your spot. DONE. One opportunistic man’s vote secured. Seriously, we spent so much time on that fool, I wanted to throttle both him and the people that bothered to listen to his senile rantings.

    Democratic party, members of the House & Senate, Mr. President: you just have to say FUCK ‘EM. Push your agenda, make them work their games, and when the American people ask who killed health reform, show footage of their threatened filibuster. When a citizen asks why their child was dropped from their family plan, show them pictures of Rep. Boehner & Rep. Cantor, Sen. McConnell & Sen. Grassley, red in the face from reading David Copperfield all night. Tell them, “I pushed for reform, but these people just worked to screw you.”

    Care more about the people you represent than trying to get reelected, and, for once, tell the people the God’s honest truth: Republicans don’t give a flying fuck about Americans. They just do what their donors tell them.