My ass is fat
My pussy’s wet
Thick thighs save lives
Eight inches? Bet.

~

WAP in search of cock that can last half the night and won’t make me sleep in the wet spot.
Can live with parents/roommates as long as I never have to hear or see them.
Warning: I scream during sex and I am LOUD.
Dick pics required before I’ll send you my phone number.

~

Suck my titties while you’re inside me and I will ruin your life forever cause that dick will be mine from then on. I’m the crazy hot sex of your dreams (or nightmares). Be careful: my cunt is addictive.

– signed, The Coochie Monster

~

What I really want is a relationship and then marriage, but my past traumas have now linked sex with affection and orgasms with love so here I am looking for the one when what I actually need is therapy. My head game is amazing, though, so the head games are worth it.

~

Look, I’ve got availability in my Tuesday evening and Sunday midday hotation schedule and I need solid dick ability (minimum thirty minutes of stamina, minimum six inches long with optional foreplay potential) to get me through cuffing season. You will never know my real name and you will be dropped during the summer months. No smokers, no pets.

~

I’ll fuck you for hours if you call me pretty and buy me coffee. I’ll give you head if you buy me drinks. Anal on the third fuck if you include a meal and are nice to the waitstaff, including a generous tip.

~

I’m in town for the week and want to just feel someone else next to me so if you play your cards right, I’ll message you thirty times and then ghost you. Attention, of any kind, is better than risking the Rona for mediocre dick. And there is way too much mediocre dick on this site.

~

I’m horny but I’m also lazy. First one to respond to this message is getting laid tonight.
*crosses fingers* Please don’t be more than a thirty minute drive away.

~

I’m bored and sex (any sex) is more interesting than my usual rub rub dildo vibrator routine. Hit me up if you’re available cause my clit needs a break and my cunt is lonely.

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