the life and musings of a kinky slut
She chose her name to be Ummwhatever. She didn’t know what to choose when she signed up, so it seemed fitting. She entered our class late, but we didn’t mind. We asked if she wanted to introduce herself; she declined. As we talked about getting the most out of our event, the roadblocks we all […]
I could feel it gradually building, waxing and waning throughout my Ropen Space day. I could hear her, just on the edge of my fun, just beyond the chorus of beautiful voices I listened to on Friday. She was patient. I finally, really, heard her when classes were over. Few others were in the room. […]
My mother and aunt are driving me nuts…Bringing up my Ex; being mean to the waiter; and fucking old pet names…Fuck, and they just brought up religion and how I don’t call enough. – my texts to a friend during my Mom’s special dayIt is a cliche to say that parents drive their adult children […]
“I keep accepting these little pieces of people, and being so incredibly happy with them, which I think is incredibly shitty. It is so much like my mother, and I don’t want that. A friend recently told me I keep settling for small bites when I should be demanding the whole entree.”“Yes, but first you […]
You’d think by now I’d know how to do this. In my almost twenty-nine years on this earth, I have spent by far more of my time uncoupled and alone than with someone. And yet… During my last session with Doc, he talked about how everyone on this Earth has two basic fears. 1- Not […]
I walked away quickly, checking that I had everything as I went, when it struck me… My neck was bare. Rushing back to the guard post, I asked him if he had my necklace. I dropped to the floor and looked all around his station. Standing, he said he had found it. His stand was […]
“Because you don’t require a commitment for you to be in their lives, they never had to make a decision with you. In your effort to avoid the pain of rejection you have this other painful feeling [of never having tried].”Twice, less than a month apart actually, I learned two people I care for started relationships with someone […]
Our brains are funny things. In our attempts to avoid pain, we can in fact cause more anguish. In my last session with Doc, we ended up talking about my father, a lot. I have mixed emotions surrounding my Dad. I love him, but some of his choices for my life were not the best. […]
Often times, in the throws of passion, whether during sex or in the middle of a scene, my eyes are closed. My Ex once asked me what I thought about when we fucked, my lids shut. He said I looked like I was gone, somewhere else. He wasn’t wrong. When I fucked him, my head […]
I leave in about an hour for my first session with my new therapist, who I will henceforth call Doc. I am nervous. The last time I tried therapy it was… not a resounding success. I will say that she got me thinking. She tried to get me to be more forthcoming with my emotions […]