poeticdesires

the life and musings of a kinky slut

e[lust] #46

featured photo of the month

Photo courtesy of A Penny for Your Dirty Thoughts

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #47? Start with the newly updated rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

How to Shave Your Asshole

Tied and Blindfolded

Why Disney is like BDSM

~ Featured Posts (Molly’s Picks) ~

Because you are so beautiful

Suspension of Disbelief

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Dildology: The Science of Sex Toys

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

The Vagina Thief
The Role of Feelings in Swinging Lifestyle
Why I Feel No Jealousy
Spontaneous
I Asked SilverHubby to Respond to a Comment
Mastering Masturbation in 7 Steps
The One Where I Face Reality

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

The Cycle of Change, Simplified
My IMsL 2013 Keynote

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Kink of the Week #5: Roleplay
How To find (and catch) a Male Submissive
How to be a Good female Sub
The Master’s Voice
Kink of the Week #5: Roleplay
“S&M: The Dark Side of Gay Liberation”, 1975
PolyAnna’s Musings: Choosing Revisited
KOTW-Roleplay: W’s Perspective
Brat-tastic!
Liberating the Fisherman’s Wife
How much realism should be in BDSM erotica?

Erotic Fiction

Sunday Morning
Warehouse 69 Episode 2: The Marquis’ Crop
Sunday Morning
Salivate
Suffer
Bend Over, Bad Kitty!
Dirty Sexy Money
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Four

Erotic Non Fiction

My First MMF Threesome
That Smile
What Wet Dreams are Made Of…..
A Good Match
I was a Naughty Girl
Jets
Right Here. Now.
I fantasize about blowjobs & being a good girl

Poetry

Things to Wear – NaPoWriMo
Blood Lust
A poem for Rose
Vanishing
Colorless
Subby Space

Blogging

Look at Me!

elustbutton200


Crotch Rope

~ erotica ~

My clit throbbed. I hadn’t cum yet. The rope had only been on me for a few minutes.

He’d taken out the coil, my rope, and knelt in front of me. I’d let my hands laze in his hair as he worked. Wrapped once around my hips. Once under my ass. Knotted. Threaded the rope down between my lips. Brought it back up. Made a knot. Pulled tight through my pussy. Passed under the bands in back. Yanked down. Ran under the bottom band. Brought the rope back up. Tied it again. Tight. Knotted the excess around my waist loosely.

“Good. Go put in the laundry.”

My face asked a question; my voice was silent.

“You heard me. Go put in the laundry.”

I harrumphed before walking away.

Immediately, with my first step, I felt it. Every movement was different. Every swish of my hips. I bent to pick up the basket. I took the stairs to the basement. I filled the washer, bending and lifting. Never had a hated choir been so fun. I bounced back up the stairs. Up was so much more fun than down.

I stood in front of him.

“Sit,” he said.

And here I am now. Minutes later.

He looms over me. I can’t help but squirm in my chair. Even the slightest movement is wondrous. Full of an almost guilty pleasure.

He just looks down on me and smiles.

“Stop.”

“But…”

“Stop.”

I don’t move.

But I can’t not move. I bite my forefinger. And pulse. Pulse my clit against the knot. And look up at him with my puppy dog eyes. I beg without words. Let him see my torment. My pain. He loves to see my pain.

He bends down. Whispers into me ear.

“Go to bed.”

I gasp, then scamper to our room. Every step is more glorious than the next.

I pull back the covers. Again, I sit. Then lay down. And then writhe. Face down. Snaking my body against mattress. Fucking myself with my rope. With the knot he tied. And it grows. And grows.

I turn my head. He’s there. Staring. Smiling.

“Are you close?”

“Almost.”

“Get closer.”

I ease my hips up and down. I feel him watching me. My breathing quickens.

“Please?”

He flicks open his knife. I feel a yank on the rope. A moment of ease.

And then he’s inside me. And he’s pulling the rope in time with his thrusts. And the knot is against my clit. And he’s pumping in and out.

And I scream, “Please?”

“Yes.”

And I scream again.

Afterwards, I feel a little sad. Until he kisses my cheek, smiles, and says, “It’s still long enough for next time.”


Daily Zen

I’m not a religious person. When pressed by someone to give an answer, I’ve said in the past I’m pseudo-Christian. I was baptized Catholic. Went to Catholic school for seven years. But my mother converted to Baptist before I started either of those schools. And, when once asked by her, I bluntly said her religion was not for me (a brave and strong willed act, considering I was 14 at the time).

Catholicism is definitely not my bag. I’m too feminist to reclaim that mantel, though I did love the ritual and pageantry of it. Baptists have their music and community atmosphere, but again my morals won’t let me be a part of a religion that goes so heavily against my views.

Mostly, I feel adrift when it comes to religion. Sometimes I wonder if there is anything to believe in at all.

But then I get this feeling that there is something, some sort of life force in the universe. I can’t really name it. I just know when I see the beauty of a flower, or think about the enormity of our world, and worlds beyond. Or the fact that I have two amazing nieces born from my friends’ love, no matter the form it took, I tear up. That life essence is something, though I don’t know what.

Lately, in trying to find center in my own life, both personal and professional, I’ve come upon a random resource to calm the raging storm: Daily Zen. It’s a group on FetLife that I joined which posts one or two Zen proverbs each day. I read them, take them in, let my mind linger on their thoughts. It helps.

I am by no means actively seeking out religion or a new way of being for myself. But I appreciate the words. They center me. Make me concentrate on, think about something other than parts of my life I, at times, view as petty or frivolous.

And, since this is my blog, I get to do what I want. Henceforth, I will occasionally share those words with you.

I already have two podcasts: PoeticReadsGray & Daddy’s Good Girl. Instead of launching a third, I’m going to occasionally include voice snippets in this blog. Nothing big. Each proverb usually is only a minute or two.

But when the words move me. Make me think. Get me to stop the constant chatter of no-good-very-bad things rolling around in my head, I’ll share them with you.

Here are two to start:


listen to ‘DZ_Flower Shower’ on Audioboo
listen to ‘DZ_Real Prosperity’ on Audioboo


Your Kiss

~ a poem ~

Our kiss didn’t end the moment our lips parted. The warmth of your breath, your mouth, lingered on my skin. Even as I stepped back. Even as I smiled and told you bye. Even as we walked away.

I felt your kiss throughout my day. In moments that came without warning. In thoughts of you. In stolen seconds where I turned my head to the side, looked down, and smiled. In breaths where all I wanted was you here, near me, and your lips on mine again.

Your kiss gave me energy throughout my day. As work tried to tear me down. As people gave me misery. Your kiss gave me joy. Hope to get through. Happiness at the thought of you. And glee, knowing I would be able to kiss you again so soon.

Your kiss caught me randomly, at times. When I waited in line for food. As I looked for something or other on my desk. On the walk to talk to someone. You were there. Hands in my hair, on my neck. Lips against mine. Breath and passion and longing. And we were kissing all over again.

I was glad no one could hear my thoughts. Feel what I felt. The heat of it. The wanting. The joy. That kiss was ours. Our moment. Our break from the everyday. Our embracing of each other. Connection and passion and need and home.

As I make my way back to you, I can’t stop thinking about it. Can’t stop thinking about you. Don’t want to stop remembering. Living in that moment. And looking forward to the next time we kiss.


Three Guys At Work

The 1st guy

“To make these fit, there’s a trick. You have to marry them together.”
“I wouldn’t call it marrying. I’d more say they were…”

I was tired. You could probably even say cranky. My day started with a 6am setup. Continued with a 3pm focus call. And now ended with a 10pm breakdown that didn’t actually start til 11pm. I just wanted to go home. But we had to get shit done.

And he was new. So I got it. He was trying to be playful. Trying to make me smile. But, tonight, that wasn’t going to happen until the truck was packed, I’d initialed my timesheet, and was walking back to my car.

“Please, not tonight. No vulgar jokes tonight. Normally I’d roll with it, let it ride, but just not tonight.”
“It’s just marrying seems too permanent for their situation.”
“Yeah. Right.”

I finished piling the lights in the bin and moved onto another project.

The 2nd guy


“No. Stop. Don’t put those in there. They don’t go in there.”
“Why?”
“Because the four with bases go in there. Those go with the others with clamps.”
“Fine. You don’t have to get an attitude about it.”

I don’t like him. Not anymore.

At a certain point I did. I thought he was a decent tech, a decent crew lead. And then I worked with him once where I was his crew lead. He was passive aggressive. A couple of times he outright ignored me when I asked him questions. Thankfully I haven’t had to deal with him as my crew since.

And, since, I haven’t liked him at all.

So, when I was trying to tell him why he was making a mistake. When I tried to point out his error. When I tried to go against his laziness (because that’s what it was). When I tried to instruct him in the proper way to pack that particular case, since I’d been there all day (one of only three who had), he said I was giving him “attitude”.

I was just happy I didn’t curse him out right there. Though, to be fair, I’m too nice. Even to people who don’t deserve it. I’ll turn my back and mutter expletives to myself before I stand face-to-face with you, telling you how I really feel. I view that as being polite. I’m sure some of them see it as being weak. And to that, I say, fuck them. My Mom raised me right.

I spoke maybe three words to that guy for the rest of the gig.

In my opinion, his problem is that he’s pretty. Very pretty, in fact, so people will often let him have his way. Even when he’s wrong. But, lately, not just I have noticed when he fucks up. And he’s getting on more than just my nerves.

The 3rd guy


“Ooo, are you taking that home?”

He carried a small vase of purple tulips left behind by the florists. He held it up by his face and playfully stroked the buds.

“Would you like one?”
“Normally I don’t accept gig flowers, but sure.”

He picked one out of the vase and gave it to me. Another female employee walked over and commented on the flowers. He offered her one as well, which she accepted.

We pushed the last few cases towards the freight elevator.

As we waited behind another company, the group was finally in good spirits. Though we had started late, we were close to finished, having worked really hard to get everything broken down.

When we reached the truck, and pushed the last case on, a wave of relief washed over me. Long day done.

Everyone congregated by the crew lead and waited to initial our timesheetsReacher novel (which I could barely put down all day), in my hands. The purple against the white and red of the cover looked almost artistic. I smiled to myself, happy I’d brought the book inside to help pass the time of the hour wait before we started, and now knowing I’d be able to get back to it soon.

After everyone initialed, we slowly disbursed.

“What are you going to do with them,” I asked him, referring to his small vase of tulips.
“I don’t know. Hey, do you want them?”

He held it out for me.

“Um, sure.”

I took the vase, put my flower back inside it.

I smiled, and remembered, Not every guy I work with is an asshole.


Grue-p Dynamics

Ok, looks like we will have room for you. 🙂

It felt like an enclave. No, a kinky commune. No, a kinky family reunion.

We woke up together. Got ready at the same time. Drank our respective morning drinks. Shoveled loads of food and supplies into cars. Carpooled to our destination. Worked together to make the Grue run smoothly.

Went to dinner together. Came back to the AfterGrue with each other. At the end of the night, cleaned up. Closed the building.

Made our way back home. For during that weekend the house was all our home. Crashed and went to bed at the same time.

Got up again at the same time. Rode to pancakes. And then we started our parting.

For a weekend, I shared a home with six other people. I felt welcomed, cared for, by the kinksters around me. By TwistedView and K2, who opened up their home to us. And by those who shared the domicile with me. We broke bread together, shared space, laughed and chatted. We were in and among one another.

There is a certain type of euphoria in the midst of an event. I get that. But I loved this more. Not only did we attend the Grue together, we shared almost all parts of our lives for a weekend. I loved the morning hustle, the ordered chaos, as much as the presentations and play that would follow.

I loved the warm honey water. Listening to a Katt Williams sound clip. Cookies fresh out of the oven. Sitting around the kitchen island for an hour, or just the ten minutes before we had to run out.

I loved being a part of this temporary family unit, only for a weekend, but immersed in care and love.


DGG #6: Feeling Grue-vy

The first part of my Grue Pitt 3 adventure.  Yup folks, I talked so long I had to split up this post.  More juicy content for your sexy ears.

 


AtoZ

You knew I was going to do this, right?

Sometimes I just do things for people. Buy them a drink. Take care of the check for a meal. Crochet them something. It’s a part of my personality that I like to do for others, especially if I care about you.

During the month of April, an A to Z blog challenge occurred. People posted one blog a day corresponding to the letter of the date (1st-A, 2nd-B, etc). Sunday people took off.

I didn’t learn about the challenge until it was too late to sign up for it, but I still used the alphabet idea as inspiration for last month’s blogs. (Please ignore the fact that it took me until noon today to finish said blogs.)

I learned of the blog challenge through Gray’s blog at Graydancer.com . He posted an entry stating he was going to try it. I thought this sounded like fun. I love reading his thoughts and was pleased this idea would give me more of his musings, on an almost daily basis no less.

Plus it helped that it was a sexy subject challenge. Bloggers were asked to write about a topic corresponding to the letter of the date and relating to sex in some way.

One day, before a gig, I read Gray’s second entry in my car. I have this habit of reading things out loud, especially when I’m alone. As I read B is for Baculine, I found myself smiling, especially at a small moment he describes in the entry.

I already have a podcast of my reading Gray’s vanilla blog posts at PoeticReadsGray.

But, for the AtoZ challenge, I thought I would do something special. Just for him. Just cause. I re-read B is for Baculine immediately into my iPhone’s voice recorder and texted the file to Gray. I didn’t expect anything of it, except, hopefully, that he would like hearing his words in my voice.

I kept doing it throughout the month because one, I really liked it, and two, he never told me stop.

When I saw him at the Grue Pitt, he asked me why I’d read the entries. I told him simply because I loved his writings and thought it would please him. And that was the long and short of it.

Until I got a text from Gray a week later.

– Hope you like the podcast.

My reply: Oh…god…

Because yes, it made perfect sense. Quite a few of his entries were rope-centric. Why wouldn’t he create a Ropecast entry from his blogs? And I’d given him a wealth of content to post: 26 entries totally 1 hour and 36 minutes. It was perfect.

Graydancer’s A-to-Z Blog Challenge, as read by Poetic Desires

Except it never occurred to me. I did not expect this, at all.

Still, while listening to the podcast, and after finishing it, and even just thinking about it, I can’t help but smile. A big, huge, face-hurting smile.

Attention and affection.


Zipper

~ erotica ~

His face was blank, cold. He worked quietly, except for the muted snap. He held the ribbon with one hand and lined up the medical staple gun with the other, making sure his aim was just so. He was creating art, cruel art, for his enjoyment.

This went on for what seemed like forever. Line up the ribbon, line up the staple gun, check his aim, and crack. Another piece of metal into my skin.

I tried not to move or make a sound. Tried not to meep or shriek. Tried to keep my breath from slipping into staccato. If I reacted, gave any indication, I knew two things would happen. One, he would be pleased that his torments were taking effect. And two, his treatment of my flesh would be worse. More art would adorn me. More pain inflicted. And his big flourish would be that much more to take in.

For it wasn’t just the pattern he created that thrilled him. It wasn’t just the zigzags or loops or whirls, the curves raised above my skin. No, it was the final pull, unzipping his zipper, that gave him his real thrill.

When he was finished with his work, he took a step back and admired his craft. A small, almost undetectable smirk, emerged on his face.

He set down the staple gun and slowly walked behind me. I felt his body next to mine. His crotch against ass. His chest against my shoulder blades. The musky smell of his cologne drifted into my nostrils.

Following the rules, I slid my arms behind him. Delicately gripped his ass. Lifted and exposed my chest. Propped up his art. Made my body ready for his fun. My head rested on his shoulder. I looked up at him for a few breaths before turning my head and closing my eyes.

He reached over my body and danced his fingertips along the pattern of metal. With every touch I had to keep myself from jumping. I could feel even the whisper of the air moving over my skin as his hands took in his work.

This was the most staples he’d ever put in me. And I knew there was only a few more breaths before the wave of pain and pleasure would arrive.

“Ready?”

I inhaled. Gritted my teeth.

“Yes.”

I felt him lift up on the ends of the ribbon, which he’d placed above each breast. The moment was about to happen.

But as he lifted, he didn’t jerk. Didn’t yank. Just lifted, pulled, harder and harder yes, but slowly. I felt my skin stretch as he raised me up, up. I felt my spine compress as I tried to rise with his hands. At a certain point, though, all I could do was hold still. Take in the sensation.

Pop.

The first two staples at the ends of the ribbon released. I muffled a cry, but I knew he heard it anyway.

His hands remained high, pulling at the next pair of staples. Keeping my chest arched up towards the heavens.

Pop.

The next two staples partially broke free of my skin. I felt the jerk of the ribbon on the next pair, and tried to quiet a shriek. I could feel the smile on his face, seeing me endure his torture.

He lifted the right side higher now. My chest contorted, trying to alleviate some of the pain.

Pop. Pop. Pop.

Three more staples broke free. A tear for each slid down my cheeks. He bowed his head and lapped up the droplets.

The ribbon no longer crossed on itself, looking now like an angled number six.

“Fast or slow?”

He’d never given me a choice before. He’d never put this many staples in me before, either. Fifteen little pieces of metal in my body. Fifteen little glints reflecting the light he shone on my skin. Eight more still had to be released from my flesh. Now I would decide how that would happen.

“Medium.”

Even in my pain, I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to be just a little bratty.

“Hmm,” he said. I heard the amusement in his utterance.

He relaxed his hold on the ribbon. I relaxed my chest back down.

He ran his left arm across my neck, lifting my head up. His right hand held one end of the ribbon.

He pulled.

Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop.

Each staple released as he jerked at the ribbon, jerked at my skin. My body reacted without my will. Staccato breaths on each pull. New tears on my face. Muffled weeps with each shock of pain. And finally, on the last staple, he held it. And held it. Just at the threshold of release.

“Beg me.”

“Please. Please. Please hurt me. Take it out of me. Relish in my pain.”

There was a split second where his grip relaxed. And then his arm swung out hard and the staple flew out of my skin. I screamed my pain. Cried into his arm.

He melted his body against mine. I felt his hard cock against my ass. He rubbed his cheek against my face and sighed his pleasure.

Even as I cried, my pussy throbbed from the pain and ecstasy of his art.


Yearn

Attention and affection; two simple concepts, yet it has taken me time and thoughtful introspection to realize they are the two major necessities I need in a relationship.

I want a partner who will spend time with me. Not around me, but with me. I need simple attention: a meal where we bitch about our respective jobs; watching a movie on NetFlix; going for a jog with me in the neighborhood; testing our duel trivia knowledges via Jeopardy! It doesn’t need to be fancy, but give me the time.

I also want someone who shows affection towards me. Hugs and kisses, yes. But also holding hands. Back rubs. Gentle caresses. Playing with my hair (bonus points!). Cuddles. Snuggles.

Without attention and affection, I cannot be happy in a relationship.

There was a moment a week and a half ago. It was the Sunday after the Grue Pitt. Everyone was tired, exhausted really, winding down from the event. Gray, TwistedView, K2, and myself gathered in the living room to watch random action movies.

At one point, TwistedView and K2 snuggled on the LoveSac while Gray and I did the same on the couch. Gray lightly rubbed my back, my arm. We were watching either From Dusk Til Dawn or Game of Thrones. It was nothing big; just some down time to relax our brains and bodies.

And then, in a flash, it hit me: This is awesome. I want this. I should find someone for this back home.

Ding ding ding.

Because that’s the thing: I live here and he lives there. Our lives are separated by hundreds of miles. When we are together, it’s great, amazing really, but our lives make it so our time together is fleeting. Thems be the breaks.

I wanted to kick myself when the obvious hit me upside my head.

It was exactly what Doc has been talking about. Love, real love, isn’t a series of highs and lows. It’s steady. A baseline that’s always there. Yes, it will have its moments, but the foundation lies in daily consistent care.

I yearn for attention and affection from someone regularly in my life. I want snuggles on the couch and cuddles in bed each night. I want someone to lean on, and to take care of, not just on special days, but every day.

I don’t like that, when thinking about any as yet partner, thoughts veer towards my Ex. I don’t like remembering snuggling with him on the couch or sleeping with him at night. I don’t like that he is still a small part of my life (the occasional run in at work).

It is so tempting to go backwards, to try again. Not tempting enough, though, for me to do it. There were far too many things wrong with our relationship for me to go back to him. But tempting still.

It hurts, my current situation. Because I know I did have that bond with someone before. I know it’s possible, making the not having it that much worse.

I do have attention and affection now, occasionally, on special days. When I get it, I feel this sense of ease. Of excitement, of course, but also of stillness. A knowing that yes, this is right. This is what I want, what I need. A gladness for my life in those days.

But I yearn for more than my special days, as cherished as they are to me. I yearn for constant love, daily care, dependable attention and affection.

As you might have guessed, since the Grue Pitt, I edited my OKC profile again. I’m trying to find a poly munch. I’m keeping my eyes and heart open. And I’m hoping.

Slowly, surely.