1) In my continuing kink/BDSM/poly education, I have started listening to Poly Weekly podcast. I highly recommend the podcast. Cunning Minx is kind of awesome.
Recently, while partaking of a post during the dinner break at work, I heard about an interesting poly practice. It’s called the 100% Game.
The rules are simple.
1- Ask for 100% of what you want from your partner 100% of the time.
2- Being willing to accept your partner’s answer.
See, simple. Except, for a person like me who finds it rather difficult to put myself first in most situations, not so simple.
Since I don’t have partners, I’ve instead tried to do this with my close friends, just as good practice, pushing myself to be more honest emotionally and making my needs/wants known and heard. Now, having read that last statement, you probably realized that “tried” was the operative word.
I find it so hard to ask for what I want almost all the time. So hard. I have visions of people judging me, rejecting me, pitch forks and knives and such. And the thought of me asking for everything that I wanted all the time is not only scary but kind of exhausting. But I’m giving this a go anyway.
I’ve had varying success, one notable instance that, when I look back on it, it was so simple yet so yes. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.
2) Upon the advice of Doc, I have joined OKCupid.
In our last session, he talked about how I seem so open to new experiences in life, how adventurous I tend to be, except when it comes to making connections with people beyond friendship or random play.
He worried that I was still holding myself back from possibilities of love entering my life, not to mention my ease at connecting with people far away as opposed to close by. (Obviously copying the lessons learned from my parents, i.e. distance is safe.)
I was, and still am, reluctant to the process. I mentioned the website to a few of my vanilla friends, who recommended it, citing a few marriages that have come from it. I mentioned OKC (see, I’m learning the slang already) to some of my kink friends and they praised it for its openness to poly and kinky folk.
So, I’m trying. It’s only been a few days, therefore I’m holding out judgement for now.
One feature I do like about the site is the questions portion. Some are very random. Some are highly relevant (religion, sex, political views). The one down side is the site keeps dinging me for not giving importance to other people’s answers. I find myself easily answering most of the questions, but not really caring what other people think about them, mostly because I often don’t care what other people think.
My only exceptions have been the sexual questions and the morality/political views. I, in my twenty-nine years on this earth, know I cannot date/hookup/hang out with anyone who is the polar opposite of my political views or sees my kinky life style in some sort of immoral fashion.
Still, this is all very new. I have been getting lots of messages sent. Doc explained this would happen because I was fresh meat (his words, not mine) and would pop up in people’s feeds. I guess I’ll just have to see if anything comes of this.
Once again, I’ll keep you posted.
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