the life and musings of a kinky slut

Archive for the ‘Therapy’ Category

Memories —

The first night of Rope Camp featured Midori’s Meat Market, a fun little event to introduce folks to one another and start the dialogue for play. After the get together concluded, I eased my way over to Rough.  He was showing off his Fat Ass Rope, and I wanted a taste of the experience.  I […]


We started with a memory, a strong memory that incited a negative emotion.  I described the memory to Doc.  He had me close my eyes.  Travel back to that moment, back to those emotions, sit in those feelings.  The tears easily came. “How do you feel?” “Forgotten.  Not thought of.  Alone.” “On a scale of […]

The Mask —

“Stop.”“Dammit.”“Feel that. Whatever you are feeling right now. Just sit with that emotion.”I didn’t want to. I was reading my homework for Doc. A few pages typed into my netbook. Very honest words to myself. My pace was measured. I tried to put on my writer-ly voice. But then I got to two lines. Two […]

My Brother Is A Douche —

I don’t want to write this blog. But, because it’s me, I kind of have to. Yesterday I spent some quality time with my younger half-brother and my father. As always, it was awkward. My father is emotionally closed off, and my brother and I have learned much the same habit. Often during our dinner, […]

The Upside to Amputation —

“I know this is hard, and you can totally tell me to fuck off, but can you see an upside to this revelation?” – Doc“Well, yes. I invested a lot of emotional energy their way, so now that I’ve accepted that the fantasy in my head won’t happen, I can invest most of that emotional […]

Ache —

As I walked down a less than crowded DC street, I felt sad. As I strolled, with plenty of time to reach my destination, I pondered my feelings, the subtle ache in my heart. I wondered, Why am I feeling this way?As per Doc’s request, I have been more tuned into my emotions in the […]

Good Session —

“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you really are clever. You do these really good things, but then you always find a way to put yourself down… How about you instead use your cleverness to find humor in how your brain twists the good you’ve done.” – DocThis past Tuesday […]

Self Soothing —

I could feel it gradually building, waxing and waning throughout my Ropen Space day. I could hear her, just on the edge of my fun, just beyond the chorus of beautiful voices I listened to on Friday. She was patient. I finally, really, heard her when classes were over. Few others were in the room. […]

Nerves —

I leave in about an hour for my first session with my new therapist, who I will henceforth call Doc. I am nervous. The last time I tried therapy it was… not a resounding success. I will say that she got me thinking. She tried to get me to be more forthcoming with my emotions […]