Gorno-Altaysk I could not have picked a better song than the one I randomly pulled out of Lee’s bag: Taylor Swift’s We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.
I’d already gone over the basic idea of a skit with Shay and Stefanos. Now with this song in mind, we changed it to fit the lyrics while still going with the essence of my idea.
Stefanos is a performer; I knew going into Dirty Pig having him help was going to be invaluable. Shay, functioning as my handler, was a big reason why I did so well. She kept me calm throughout the competition, but never more so than leading up to my fantasy. She kept rubbing my back and checking in. I felt safe in her care.
Bribes were thrown at the judges left and right, my antics included. Once, I quietly slipped to the judges’ table and offered cigars and cigarellos, as well as prep service to each judge. Only Gray took me up on my offer.
However, as I passed by one judge, she stopped me.
“I like your true-excited-you more than your sex kitten. Authentic you is sexy.”
I was humbled, shocked, so grateful for her encouragement. I thanked her and then hustled back to the Green Room tent.
I recruited my friends for countless bribes that evening: alcohol service, tobacco service, bootblacking, massages, sexual favors, and one friend even just wrote ‘Vote for Poetic’ on her ass. Magically, one person recruited herself to help me even though she had just met me that camp in a class. It really does take a village to run for a fake leather title, and I am so immensely grateful to everyone who helped me that night.
As it grew nearer for my turn back on stage, my nerves resurfaced. I channeled my energy into encouraging my fellow contestants, who were also tied into knots, or just spending moments with Shay stroking my back.
When Pig #4 went up, it was time for us to warm up. Shay kneeled down and tested the waters; I was very wet and very ready.
Once Pig #4 finished, our trio kicked into gear preparing the stage for our show.
Our props: three cardboard stars, a small crescent wrench, a marshmallow skewer, a plastic ring (about the size of a hand), and a camouflage rain jacket.
I wore my red teddy (because the night before Gray said it did great things for my ass) and a chain with a lock around my neck.
Shay and Stefanos pinned their stars to their clothes on the left in back. I clipped my star to my right boot. (For those who don’t get the joke, we were flagging ‘Starfucker’ & ‘Star’.)
We placed a piece of sex furniture on stage, draped the jacket on the sex furniture where Shay would be sitting, and put a chux pad on the floor of the stage where I would be seated. Also on the floor beside me, I sat a buffing brush, a tin of Black Lincoln shoe polish, and my jar of Huberd’s Shoe Grease. Both Stefanos and Shay were pre-gloved. We were ready.
Shay placed her boot on my chest and I began loving on her leather. We waited for the music to begin. The wrong song cued up. Stage crew quickly fixed it and Taylor Swift’s familiar guitar riff pumped through the speakers.
I kissed on Shay’s boots as she smiled and reached down to caress my face. Stefanos stood on the back of the stage, watching, the skewer in his hand.
Suddenly, he rushed forward. Screamed something. Grabbed me by my collar. Pushed me down to the floor with the skewer. Shay started screaming, too. Stefanos shoved me onto the sexy furniture. I remember hearing Shay yell, “You told me you were single.”
In response, I gestured back and forth between Shay and Stefanos, and said, “But you’re hot. And you’re hot. And boots.”
Stefanos took the plastic ring, with a handkerchief tied to it, and forced it in my mouth as a gag. He grabbed my tin of polish, pulled up my nighty, and began beating me all over my body, smearing the black over my skin.
Meanwhile Shay took the wrench, which was pre-condomed, and started fucking me with it. Quickly she grew tired of it, proclaimed it too small, and tossed it aside. Reaching into my Huberd’s jar, she yelled, “You don’t even deserve lube,” and easily slipped her entire hand into my pussy, already previously warmed up by her fist.
Not done with their hate fuck of me, Shay and Stefanos switched. Shay came by my head; Stefanos went down to my feet.
What I write now I know from accounts both from those involved and those who saw the show: Stefanos dipped his hand into my Huberd’s, showed it to the crowd (big man hand and all), and in one fluid motion sunk his entire fist deep inside my cunt. My eyes were closed, so I didn’t see it, but apparently I got a standing ovation, including everyone at the judges table.
Stefanos pistoned his fist. I moaned, screamed, and squirmed, pleasure racing throughout my body.
As the song grew to a close, Stefanos slipped out, returned to my head. Grabbed my hair. Tilted my body up. Pulled my nighty up over my head, wrote P-I-G in polish across my chest, and threw my head away right on the last downbeat of the song. He and Shay walked away. We could not have performed better if we had tried.
Almost immediately Stefanos rushed back, asking me if I was okay. There was huge applause. I reassured him I was fine. He helped me to my feet.
I stood downstage center, with Shay and Stefanos genuflecting at my boots. Carol Queen threw a t-shirt up onto stage. Gray waved his leather gloves at me.
I didn’t know what to do except stand there and smile, as if to say, ‘Yeah, that just happened. That’s my cunt. Glad you like it.’
My Dirty Pig Experience
– Pep Talk
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